As the job market shifts, layoffs and reductions in force continue, and workers start job searching, you may be asked to serve as a professional reference or referral. While it can feel compelling to be asked to vouch for someone’s professional experience, think twice before you agree.
Reference vs. Referral
A professional reference is usually an endorsement of someone’s skills, work experience, or character. You can serve as a reference on a one-time basis or regularly be listed as a contact for someone you know well. The reference can be given via phone, email, or in the form of a letter of recommendation.
A referral is typically recommending someone you know to work at your company. It’s cosigning their skills, experience, and character, and demonstrates to the company that you believe they would be a good fit, professionally and culturally.
Reasons to Decline
Choosing to accept being a reference or a referral is a personal and professional decision to make for yourself and the situation you’re in. Saying no is acceptable—with or without a reason. These are a few reasons people may decline providing a reference or referral:
- You haven’t worked with this person professionally in a long time or ever
- You didn’t enjoy working with them
- The person left the job on bad terms
- You can’t effectively vouch for them or provide constructive feedback about their skills and experience
- You have concerns about how their behavior, performance, or character may reflect on you
- If making a reference or referral that turns out poorly could risk your job or reputation
How to Say No
Applicants should ask before listing someone as reference or referral. If someone asks you, have an honest and respectful conversation with them about why you’re opting out of being a reference or referral for that person. The conversation doesn’t have to be harsh, but you can cite relevant experiences with them. Be honest, but brief and use a neutral tone and language.
If the person has a history of being late to work, not completing projects, being overly negative, or otherwise problematic, you can say you’re not sure if they would be happy in the environment, or if the culture would fit their expectations.
If you just don’t want to vouch for someone, you can take the blame. Tell them you think it’s a good opportunity, but you don’t believe you’re the best person to provide a recommendation. You can cite a lack of experience referring others, suggest a contact with a higher job title or who worked more closely with them, or another reason.
If No Is Ignored
Best practice is for the requesting party to ask before listing a professional reference or referral, but that advice isn’t always followed.
If you get cold-called by a company because someone listed you without your knowledge, you can let the calling party know you don’t want to serve as a reference. This can be done respectfully and without actively harming the person’s chance at the job. But it’s not a good look for them.
Don’t ghost the recruiter. It isn’t their fault, and your declining lets them move on in the process. It may also create an opportunity for the applicant to find a willing reference.
Contact the person who listed you to let them know if you want to be left off their list of references, or if you want to be contacted before being listed again. Having a heads-up benefits you and them, because it allows you to be prepared with talking points, so remind them of that too.
If You Don’t Have Anything Nice to Say
If you genuinely have nothing positive to contribute to a conversation, consider declining. The job market is rough, and there’s no need to make the job search process more challenging. If asked, there may be an opportunity to provide constructive feedback on ways you know the applicant can improve. Do this cautiously and continue speaking to their strengths.
Remember, the goal of being a reference or referral isn’t to burn bridges or ruin someone’s chance of getting a job; it’s to help a potential employer gauge a candidate based on your experience with them. If you can vouch for someone with enthusiasm, do, but if saying no is the right call, be confident in making the decision.
